Arrrrrrrr!

Pirates by Jason Stout

My son Owen was invited to a birthday party recently by one of his buddies from preschool. I was "elected" to take him. It wasn't a drop-off party so this wasn't an undertaking I necessarily relished. Three hours hanging out with a bunch of preschoolers on a hot Atlanta summer day isn't my idea of a great Saturday afternoon.

The theme for the party was "Pirates." What I didn't know at the time was that pirates apparently have 25 foot inflatable water-slides hooked up in their backyards when they party. A little pillaging; a little plundering; a little water-sliding. All in a days' work for a modern day (and 5 year old) pirate.

I knew the kid who was celebrating the birthday because I had seen him at preschool a few times. I had also met his father at other birthday parties. He seemed like a nice guy. A little older than me and, judging by his car, a fair bit more successful as well.

The son's nanny had also called a few times to our home to invite Owen on various outings. Owen loved to get a call from the nanny because they did lots of cool things like going to the zoo and to the ice cream shop. My wife Tiffany told me that she had never talked to the mom or the dad--just the nanny. Both parents were attorneys who worked together at a prestigious, high-end law firm.

Owen and I were the first ones at the party. Which isn't a horrible thing, except that it means about 30 other cars pulled in behind us, guaranteeing that we would be the last ones to leave. How I have managed to make it 36 years without figuring a way around this is beyond me.

We arrived at the party and I was instantly struck by how incredibly opulent the house was. It wasn't one of these "McMansions" or Mansions-lite. It was a true, bona fide mansion with the pillars and everything to prove it. I was bowled over and that was before I went around to the back of the house.

In back was a huge and beautifully decorated deck that overlooked a rolling, lush yard of grass that must have been 2 acres large. It was stunning. It was, in fact, everything I wished I had in a home and in a yard. Way off to the side was a beautiful playground that some municipal parks would be proud to own. And in the middle, of course, the 25-foot high, inflatable water slide for all the pirates to enjoy.

I'm not a particularly envious or jealous guy. I have been fortunate and blessed in many things and am usually very thankful for all that I have. But on that day, for some reason, staring at the home and yard and playground, I felt like I hadn't measured up somehow.

Heck, I was an attorney too, just like the birthday boy's parents. I had done well in law school and had worked at some of the most prestigious law firms in the Mid-West and South. But I have never been a good money manager and, let's face it, I was 36 years old with 4 kids and a wife who stays home with our kids. I am simply never going to be rich, and most of the time, I'm OK with that.

So there I was, being greeted by the birthday boy's parents and all I could think was evil thoughts about them. They had never done anything in their lives to harm me. They are good people and generous, I know for a fact. So why should I care what they have and what I don't?

The party continued and the Pirate Theme began to play itself out. The parents had hidden a number of cardboard treasure chests around the compound and sent the kids off, en masse, to look for them. I followed Owen around--who was a little slower and more timid than many of the other kids. After awhile, I noticed that many of the other kids had "goody bags" bulging with treats--fake eye patches, pencils, stickers, gold-coin chocolate bullion, even mini spyglasses.

Owen had a pencil and some stickers, but not much more. He just wasn't up to the pushing and shoving that it took to get to the piles of the "good stuff" and was left with the remains that everyone else had abandoned when they started searching for the next treasure chest. Then the father yelled out, "There's one more. There's one more chest out there that nobody has found yet."

This was our chance. I knew it had to be hidden in the playground. I told Owen to follow me over, but slowly so as not to start a stampede. Sure enough we got there and only one or two other kids were there. And we found it! There it was in the middle of the tower.

I told Owen to get up there and get the chest open. By the time he climbed up the structure several other kids were making their way there. And the chest was trickier than the others to crack. At last it was opened, but by that time the other pirate hooligans had smelled "blood" and were swarming over the playground like sharks after chum. I looked through the wooden slats and saw Owen standing back, amidst the shouting and shoving, watching the carnage. He didn't get a single treasure from the last chest.

After he climbed down I could tell he was a little sad. I told him how proud I was of him that he didn't give in to the roughness and that I knew how hard it was on him. He simply said, "Yeah, I sure would like one of those telescope things, but I've got some pencils and some other neat stuff, so that's OK."

I could not have asked for a more perfect teaching moment--and for me, not Owen. I was drooling over this fabulous house and shooting darts with my eyes at the owners. Owen on the other hand, was a little saddened, but grateful for what he had. Why couldn't I be like that? Jesus doesn't want us to be caught up in what we have--or what others have, right? He wants us to be caught up in who we are and how we act to others. The cliché is that we "should be Jesus to others." I wasn't being Jesus to others that day and Owen was, by simply not playing the game of victory at all costs.

Owen wasn't willing to dive into the scrum for a few trinkets. For most of my life, I've been the same way. My wife and I might have a lot more material things in life if we had taken some different turns in our life. I could still be working at some prestigious law firm, making a lot more money, but spending a lot less time at home. Tiffany could be working outside the home at a full time job, and letting the kids be raised by a nanny. That's a choice that a lot of people make that might be just fine for them. And, we could have even decided to have fewer kids.

All of these choices would have meant more financial security. But they wouldn't have been the right choices for us and, ultimately, I don't think it is where God wants us to be. I wouldn't have as much time for my family or for church service if I were working at one of those law firms. Same with Tiffany.

And the Bible is pretty clear on the issue. In the Old Testament, for example, it says "Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glace at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle." (NIV, Proverbs 23:4-5). I have not always had the wisdom to show restraint. I've worked too many hours at stressful jobs. At the time I thought it was for the good of my family. It's clear to me now that I was wrong.

The scripture of New Testament is equally as compelling: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (NIV, Matthew 6:19-21). I can't tell you how many times I've worried more about my "earthly treasures" than my "treasures in heaven."

What I hope this party has taught me is that I can be sad about missed opportunities, but as long as I'm grateful for what I have, then nothing can go wrong. I also have to remember that God will provide what I need. As Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?' or ‘What shall we drink?' or ‘What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (NIV, Matthew 6:24-25, 31-33).

The "wants" I just have to get over once and for all. It's a struggle, but I'm working on it. I'm just glad Owen was there to teach me when I needed it.

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